Facing Fear

First Thoughts.

Do you ever start to wake up in the morning with reluctance?  With that feeling of … fear?  Maybe you have a difficult day at the office on your calendar, maybe you have a dental or doctor visit that you’ve been dreading, maybe you have a big decision to make or a funeral to attend.  So many things can spark that desire to stay in bed as the dawn slips in around the edges of your curtains.  Maybe you want to start a new project, even though it will greatly challenge you — taking you out of your comfort zone.  Maybe your car isn’t working and you have to find a way to get it to the shop.  Maybe your head hurts.

I woke up to that feeling of reluctance today.  Merely a vague idea in my head, but still there.  And I’d much rather wake up with a feeling of gratitude for life — a sense of anticipation for what the day will offer.  An overall feeling of well-being.  Worries safely at bay.  Schedules under control.  High pressure situations not on the horizon.

Finally, I thought about the lovely lavender still blooming in our garden and that lightened my mood.  Fragrant, cheerful, sort of carefree in appearance.  A windblown look of being at peace with its surroundings.

Immediately, the day ahead didn’t feel so daunting.

Such is the state of life, that none are happy but by the anticipation of change: the change itself is nothing; when we have made it, the next wish is to change again.  ~ Samuel Johnson

So I relaxed a bit, tried to figure out why the sense of dread.  Clearly, life was beautiful.  The lavender proved that much.  Finally, it dawned on me that I hadn’t identified a topic for today’s blog post … what if my creativity failed me this morning?  What if I couldn’t think of one possible thing to write about?  I reminded myself I was focusing on “first thoughts” … intentionally, not planning ahead.  Ah, so I relaxed again.

I enjoy writing freestyle, not locking myself into a specific topic in advance of posting.  My writing feels fresh and fun in this context.  Not forced or censored or contrived.

Our thinking and our behavior are always in anticipation of a response.
It is therefore fear-based.
~ Deepak Chopra

Yet, fear had wormed its way into my morning thoughts — basically without my awareness.  I resented that feeling somewhat and wondered about its origin.  Hadn’t I been sleeping, after all, not thinking about SunnyRoomStudio and how I might inspire my readers and friends today?

Well, yes, I’d been asleep, but toward morning … my mind had begun to churn before I was fully awake.  Apparently.

So without my permission, my mind had jumped into action, decided to worry about the blog and turn fearful in the face of a morning deadline.  All of this taking place on a subconscious level.

A great source of calamity lies in regret and anticipation; therefore a person is wise who thinks of the present alone, regardless of the past or future.  ~ Oliver Goldsmith

Fortunately, my silly worries presented me with a good topic for today.

It seems much of our angst in the waking hours is not of our choosing or of our design.

Be alert to the present moment, turning away from false fears that arise in our minds from past conditioning … not from the present moment when we are in step with our true spiritual essence and the peace it provides.

Fortunately, I enjoyed this creative opportunity and hope you also find threads of morning wisdom tucked within these lines.

  • Is there something you are feeling fearful about?  Is the “fear” truly justified or just a figment of your imagination?  What is fear all about, really, and is it ever part of the present moment or just something planted in your mind many long years ago?  In other words, is it just a bad habit?

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